I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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