If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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