Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
soo... how was my night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
