She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
