We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
