that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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