Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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