My hair reeks of homosexuality.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
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I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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