So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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