I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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