i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
