hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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