after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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