Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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