I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
