I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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