WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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