At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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