I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
