Whod you bang
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize