My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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