therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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