ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
