I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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