I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
