Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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