There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
