You smell like stripper and shame
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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