Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
