Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize