Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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