Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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