how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize