Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
