after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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