Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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