She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Mom said you looked used
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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