i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
