I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
