Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
