So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
