IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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