i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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