Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you will always have a special place in my vag
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
