Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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