the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
