it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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