She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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