not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
