Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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