Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
