I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
