the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The air was thick with penises
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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