OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it was like eating out sand paper
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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