Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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