I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
