DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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