He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
