i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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