what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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