Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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