that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
