Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
