"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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