I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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