Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
