I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
