you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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