Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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