he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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