I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
