last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
