I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
