no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
