I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
