Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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